.: sweet layer :.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

this is the best music video i've seen in quite awhile... so i just had to share!

Friday, December 30, 2005

year in review

it hardly seems real that 2005 is almost over... it's nice to sit down and think really hard about all the great moments that i got to experience that have since transformed themselves into great memories this year.

i was in such a different place at the beginning of 2005 than i am now at the end of 2005... in janurary, i was still thinking about school projects and exams... in feburary, i was thinking about how much i wanted to see my guy and how much it hurt when things didn't work out... by april, it was all about how hard and painful it was to say good bye to friends after finishing university... then it was summer and having fun with my friends at these festivals and parties was my main priority... and of course travelling europe was the highlight of my life! yup, it's definitely been a life changing year... and it's important to remember all the good stuff and learn from the bad stuff. hope you take the time to reminisce too.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

is this really the way guys are?

i got the following from a guy friend... who got it from a girl friend. i found it... interesting! ok, i saw a lot of truth in it so i thought i'd share it with everyone...

it starts off with a dear abby type letter...the girl has found herself in quite the usual situation. she's gotten intimate with a guy too soon, wants something more serious and has tried to discuss her feelings with him... but talking about it has made him distance himself from the girl and she wants to know how to change the situation so that he sees how much she's worth.

the following text is the response to the letter. maybe it'll flip-on the light switch for some ladies out there who are unclear about a relationship. WARNING... IT'S LONG!

Ok, listen closely.

I'm about to share something with you that
I want you to NEVER, EVER forget.

It's the reality about how most men work
when dating.

Ready?

A man will NEVER see your "worth" just
because he's having sex with you.

It sucks, but that's the way men act
sometimes.

And guess what?

You're dating a man.

So let me be very clear here:

Just because a man has sex with a woman,
it doesn't mean that he's spent even a second
of his time deciding whether or not he wants
to be with her in the future.

Got it?

Ok, good.

Because even though you've already moved on
to how you're going to settle down together,
he hasn't even decided if he wants to try
anything "serious" out with you.

Sure, it would be great if a man let you know
this before he slept with you, but that's not
reality most of the time.

And I'm willing to bet you played a part in
this.

You're not entirely innocent.

Were you up-front and honest about what you
were looking for?

Or did your true feelings sneak up on you,
freak you out, and then freak him out too?

GIVING AWAY YOUR "SELF" TO A MAN

I've got an important question for you...

Who made this guy the final judge of your
"worth" as a woman?

The answer...

You did.

Cut it out.

And I'll bet I know WHY you did it.

I'm going to get a bit "deep" and
"spiritual" here with you, all in the name
of tough love.

You're seeking his APPROVAL in the worst
kind of way.

You're waiting and wanting HIM to show
YOU that you deserve the experience of open
and unrestrained love.

You're counting on him to be the strong
and masculine lover you've always wanted,
who will break through the barriers in both
of your hearts.

That way you can SURRENDER to the deep
kind of love that you truly desire from a man.

Unfortunately, that's not what's happening
or how he FEELS with you right now.

But deep down, you believe that if you
can come up with enough "proof" that he
should love and value you, and if you can
make things "perfect" between you two, then
he'll become the open and loving man you
imagine him to be.

It's time.

It's time for the little girl who's seeking
a man's approval in order to experience love
to grow up.

It's time for you to stop hoping that a
man will become the man you want him to be,
when he shows you that he doesn't even have
a clue about what love is or how to be with
a woman.

But you're so wrapped up in his perspective,
what he's doing, his feelings, his emotions and
his desires (or lack thereof) that you've all
but forgotten about something WAY MORE IMPORTANT.

What YOU really want.

I'll take a wild guess here and bet that
the kind of guy that you truly want isn't the
kind of guy who would act how this guy is acting.

As in, the kind of guy who would sleep with a
woman and then act distant and irritated with her
just because she wants to talk about how she's
feeling.

So, sorry for asking but...

What the h#ll are you doing!?

You're wasting your energy trying to get
the love and approval of someone who acts like
a person you don't even want to be with!?

Ok, now that we've verbally smacked you around
a little bit, we can move on from what NOT to do
to learning what to do.

LOVE, SEX AND THE MIND OF THE "MASCULINE MAN"

You need a lesson on who a man really is.

There are FASCINATING biological reasons
for why men act the way they do.

But the reasons that are the most important
for you to understand right now aren't the
"scientific" ones.

I'm going to get a tiny bit "out there" right
now, but stick with me...

There's a big difference between what I'll
call the "masculine" energy and the "feminine"
love or energy.

Pay careful attention here.

The feminine energy grows with fullness,
praise, connection and love, to allow a kind
of "surrender" in all kinds of joyful
experiences.

With sex, women surrender to the experience
with a man through love and connection, which
can make the man and woman as one.

But the masculine energy doesn't work this
way. At least not in the "darker" part of a man.

The masculine energy is VERY different.

The masculine energy seeks to break through
challenges all alone and arrive at its desire -
"emptiness" and "freedom".

Have you ever heard a man talk about how
he wanted his "freedom"... and you wondered
what the hell he was talking about?

And you could tell that he didn't even
really know what he meant by his "freedom".

This "freedom" or emptiness is actually the
masculine means of surrender and fulfillment.

Just as the feminine means is connection and
loving.

Ever noticed that lots of men fall right to
sleep or act like they're off somewhere else
after sex?

There are tons of pop-culture references to
men doing this in TV, movies, books, etc.

People know that men often behave this way.

It's "conventional wisdom".

But most people don't really know WHY men
act this way.

Here's my favorite way of explaining it...

Have you ever thought about why so many men
have a strong addiction to watching sports
events.

Well, each game is setup in a specific way
that draws a man's emotions into the
experience.

At the center of each game is a person or a
team that rises up to overcome.

It's a kind of trial where a man will break
through hardship, competition and challenge.

And when a team or player scores a goal or
a touchdown and celebrates, something
fascinating takes place.

The man "breaks through" the challenge into
"freedom" and the final emptiness of victory.

Then the men will celebrate as though their
greatest desires have been fulfilled and cry
out as they never have before.

Bizarre and fascinating...

Ok, back to Earth.

How does this relate to dating, sex and love?

With sex, a man doesn't "surrender" to
love and connection the way a woman does...
unless he learns to.

** And yes, a man can and should learn how
to surrender himself with his woman to love **

But instead, men often seek the physical
challenge of sex as a goal unto itself, where
they can break through to a temporary "freedom"
and emptiness.

Whoa... Heavy stuff.

Here's the point, in case you don't like
talking in myths and metaphors.

But first, don't go telling this story to
the man you're dating or with out of the blue.

He will think you're CRAZY - unless he's the
kind of guy that's already on a more spiritual
kind of "path".

This is for YOU to know and to work with.

So back to you....

Notice that in physical experiences with
women, or in life for that matter, most men
don't have the same strong drive to be deeply
and unwaveringly CONNECTED to the people
around them like most healthy women do.

Often times, they're driven by something
that has nothing to do with love, intimacy
and connection.

Yeah, I know. Men are CRAZY and messed up
and different.

But men don't have to be bizarre and
strange this way if they LEARN and become
AWARE.

Or...

If they have a woman who gets it, she can
lead and challenge him into finding freedom
through love and connected experience, not
through empty physical experience and isolation.

LET'S TIE IT ALL TOGETHER

Here's the thing...

A man will NEVER see you exactly the way
you want him to see you, or value you exactly
the way you know you should be valued, if...
you're doing things just to seek and win his
love and APPROVAL.

Yes, you might have "goofed" by being
physical with him too early.

But stop being so hard on yourself. It's
the past, and it's not the problem now.

The real problem now is something entirely
different.

Sleeping or being physical with a man is
NOT a bad thing.

Trust me. wink, wink.

But you've got to create the right feelings
within him before and during the experience of
being together for it to truly bring you closer
in love.

Sorry, but just being there isn't going to
do it and reach a man's heart.

Wow, I just realized... men are actually so
high-maintenance.

Anyways...

So you want to know how to "re-wire" things?

Here's what to do first:

Stop wanting the fact that you've had sex
to magically win him over into being an open
and loving partner like you are.

Then go back and read the section in my book
inside Chapter 8 called "Triggering A Deeper Level
Of Attraction In A Man".

What you need to know is there.

(and read, re-read and put it to use this time!)

But let's keep going and I'll touch on a few
of the same points that are in there.

Ever thought about what a man really wants
in a woman to date or fall in love with?

I'm talking about mature, healthy men here.

** They want someone that they WANT **

They want to WANT a woman, to worship her,
to please her, to ravish her, and to sweep her
off her feet with their physical and emotional
presence.

And for the woman to be utterly and completely
taken with them and what they do.

I'm sure you've seen or heard this kind of
male fairy tale before.

So why don't men just act this way with
women if this is what they want?

Ahhh... welcome to dating.

Because most women don't create the experience
that will make a man FEEL this way.

So here's a "center-piece" of the puzzle...

I call it the "Pursuit Gene".

There's a drive in men that makes them want
to be CHALLENGED... and to overcome that challenge.

I know it sounds cliché, but it's true.

Remember the "spiritual" story from earlier?

Men want to be challenged by the idea of
meeting, attracting, and pursuing a woman.

And then they want to win the woman over
and feel stronger as a man for having done it.

Men deal with this in one of two ways:

1. They find more "freedom" and emptiness by
physically being with a woman in the short term

2. They find connection and love by physically
AND emotionally being with the woman in a deeper
and "longer-term" way

Here's the AMAZING part...

A woman helps him choose which it will be
with her.

Interesting...

The point is, men LOVE the chase.

Some men might tell you that they don't.

They do.

Men love the chase and the challenge not in
their "logical" minds, but down where it counts.

They love it in their FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.

It's part of their genetic make-up.

But if a woman loses control emotionally,
seeks HIS APPROVAL or thinks she can trade sex
to receive love before a man's experiencing an
intense desire to WIN HER OVER and to be with her,
then something bad happens.

The man loses that feeling of excitement
and challenge with her.

He recognizes that the woman has already
given over physical and emotional CONTROL to
him.

Which destroys the strongest "lead-in" to
creating lasting love with a man.

It's just one simple word.

ATTRACTION.

Men want to feel ATTRACTION.

And I don't mean that they want to talk about
it or analyze it so that it makes "sense".

They don't want to listen to what a woman
tells them is going on and then come to accept
and understand how and why they should be in love.

No. That's not how men work.

Instead, they want to FEEL their desire for a
woman inside their whole body, emotionally driving
them, and for it to be undeniable and unrelenting.

Get where I'm going here?

If you don't make a man FEEL ATTRACTION for
you and trigger the emotional desire deep inside
him to win you over and be with you for the long
term, then there's no amount of talking, sharing,
or SEX that can change his mind.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

cheerio!

hello everyone

apryl and i are in london again... we arrived this morning after a 45 minute flight from paris.

the last time i wrote we were in pisa italy... let me just say lots has happened!

from pisa we took the train to napoli (naples) italy... it had to pass through rome to get there and it was a longer than anticipated ride... we were about 1 hour behind schedule... we got into naples when it was already dark and lets just say naples..... is kinda.... ghetto! it's not a pretty place. but we walked to this lovely 3 star hotel called la luna rossa where we met the man that made our trip to this scary city just a dream come true! he was our concierge... luigi leone! (its kinda cool cuz we met a mario and a luigi from italy) he gave us a $120 room for $70... and when i went back down to the front desk his pizza was being delivered and he gave us two slices...all from the kindness of his big heart! he was soooooooo nice! we took the subway to sorrento (sp?) to catch a coach bus to positano cuz mario told us that we had to.... simply had to go there. and he was right.... it was BREATHTAKING!!!!

positano

look at that water!

it was just sandy beaches and then cliffs riseing hundreds of meters into the sky and then a village literally built right into the mountainside! it was.... heaven on earth! the problem was when we couldn't get the bus back to sorrento... we just didn't know were the bus stop was? and we didn't see any comeing our direction... but a car stopped and said... "where are you going?"

hitch hiking was not as fun as this picture makes it out to be

that's right!!!! we hitch hiked in italy! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

it was kinda shocking and it took me a whole day to get over the fact that we actually did! i can honestly say i didn't think i ever would but it all turned out fine... we are safe and sound despite the little voice inside that said... "be careful!" so we made it back to napoli and caught a train to rome!!!

we are just glad we made it! sweet relief!

rome's trevi fountain

pantheon

san pietro in vatican city where the new pope stays

rome was just as i imagined! we walked for miles and saw sooo many things
we saw the trevi fountain... pantheon! (and what made it suuuuper cool for me was that it was an art project for me back in highschool do draw the pantheon!) so to actually see it was a deffinate moment! the next day we went to st pietro... that's where the pope is... and we went tot he vatican museum! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and the sistine chapel! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
it was beyond awesome! i love every second of it! it's so beautiful! and to actually see it in person was something i really cound't even have dreamed for. michealangelo's frescos were so lifelike they looked 3d! he was a master of light for real!

sistine chaple creation of man

we also went to the colloseum which is very big by the way! and the guides were so cool and explained some of the battles that they used to stage there... they estimate about 4-5 thousand men died there each year... so in total about 1 million men died for this spectator sport!

colloseum

inside the colloseum

we had the most amazing gelati by trevi fountain... it was the best thing i've ever had! and i got a fake gucci bag from a street vendor... he started at 60 and i worked it down to 30. i like my bag and i never saw another vendor selling it so i'm happy that i got it.

from rome we flew to paris... we went to the eiffel tower, les halles, notre dame , champs ellesse, louvre, place de la concord, walked on st germaine... we walked till our feet throbed! we ened up having dinner near the tower ( i had a terrine to start, duck for main, and a caramel cream custard for dessert) and then we walked to the eiffel to watch it light up... we sat on the saw for about 30 minutes look up at one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen.. it brought tears to my eyes! it was perfect!

we spent the night in the de gaulle airport to catch an early flight to london... and here we are.. back to the beginning and the present.. this trip is comeing to an end soon but it's deffinatly gonna stay with me...

i'll probably be back in canada the next time you hear from me!

take care everyone... hope to hear from you or see you soon!

cheers!

charlene

fish and chips for lunch

the cutest phonebooths are in london

the secret garden at kensington palace

english flowers in a notting hill market

fuzzy hats! haha

last night of the trip. we went back to piccadilly circus for dinner

Saturday, September 10, 2005

hi from the leaning tower of pisa

ciao everyone! apryl and i are in pisa!

we just got back from seeing the leaning tower... just for your information, it is open to the public again and you can climb the tower for a fee. it has been awhile since i wrote from barcelona... sorry but we hardly have any down time with all the sightseeing. since barcelona we have been to nice france (french riviara), venice italy and florence italy!

nice was fun.. i met a french guy named francois on the train going to nice. he studies law in montpellier but goes back on some weekends to nice to see his family... so lets see... he's friendly(check), educated (check), comes from a good family (father is a doctor, check) he speaks 3 languages (check), loves travel (he went camping in the alps, check), he's stylish (check), he's cute (check) ... ok that's it... i'm moving to FRANCE! hahaha just kidding! apryl and i went to a grocery store called monoprix and picked up a bottle of framboise sparkeling wine, a bagette, litchi yogurt and walked down to the shore (beach ) and made ourselves a picnic on the french riviara!!!

welcome to nice, the french riviera

the shore of nice

how cool... so ok we got a little laughy and couldn't stop for awhile! haha for some reason my arms felt kinda heavy and limp at the same time but i think it was just psychological cuz there was hardly any alcohol in the wine... it was a girly drink!

the train ride to venice from nice was ridiculous! it was an overnight train but we decided to be economical (cheap) and get the seat car tickets instead of the sleeper car ticket... they not only squished us 6 to a room but the seats were torture contraptions... you'd basicly have to be shaped like a pisscaso cubist sculptor to fit comfortably!. it was either built to fit giants or midgets cus an person with average proportions just couldn't get comfortable! haha it was so frustrating it was funny!

the rialto is a famous bridge and this view is captured by every single tourist to this amazing city

a gondela ride is super expensive but look how cool it is

a gondelier in venice

san marco is that famous square in venice with all the pigeons

venice was simply the coolest place! we went on a boat ride through the canals to this island called murano... that is where they blow venician glass and make the most beautiful things all out of glass.... we saw them make a vase, plate, jug and the coolest was watching them make a stallion figurine standing on its two hind legs... it's really fast. it takes 20 years of training to become a master so that they can make stuff in 20 seconds. they use copper to make the green colour, pure gold to make the red and manganese (sp?) or was it magnessium (sp?) to make the black colour.... needless to say we picked up some pieces of glass with pure silver and 24kgold while in venice... some of them were less than 5 euro!!!

murano is where all the venician glass is crafted

stallion of glass by a murano master

check out my necklace. murano glass baby!haha

apryl's newest addition to her paperweight collection

we spent one night in florence which is too bad cuz i would have really really really loved to see the museums there ... but we arrived too late and left to early the next day. we did however wander past a market by a beautiful church on our way to our hostel and made it back just before they closed... this market sold leather goods... wow it smelled so good!

we got a little lost in florence when it came to finding a place to call it a night

it is 1:05pm in pisa now and have a train to catch to naples at 3:00pm
you have to see our pictures of the tower! i honestly never dreamed i'd get to see it! you walk up to it and it's seriously trippy! haha it's actually really beautiful and well worth the side trip. well i guess i'll leave off here. we just have 1 more week till we get back to reality and the boring everyday stuff. booo hooo.. but there is lots to look forward to for us... we have positano, rome and paris up ahead!

a little help here, i think it's leaning over a little too much!

the leaning tower of pisa

no way... i think it's leaning!

take care!
ciao!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

barcelona is beautiful

hi everyone!

we're in barcelona today... we landed in girona spain yesterday morning... it was cool the ryanair planes are so small that the bridge from the plane to the airports are too high... so we have to get off the plane and walk on the tarmac! we grabbed a coach bus to barcelona and were simply overwhelmed... we had a moment of feeling in over our heads since there was such a language barrier... the information booths were a little help but no where as helpful as the london ones... it was a reality check! haha

we tried calling the hostel but the phone ate our coins so there we were... completely lost as to how we're gonna find a place to spend the night. we decided to try our luck at this one hostel on "les ramblas" a really popular street in barcelona... wouldn't you know it we got the last room! its on the 3rd floor with a crescent shaped balcony overlooking the street! it's beautiful! barcelona is hot hot hot! so far we've been walking around the many many many small streets with shops. we found one street selling the coolest necklaces and accessories so i've picked up 2 things already!

today we went to the pisasso museum and got pooed on. only 3 euros with student card! it was cool... the museum is actually a renovation of about 5 buildings side by side each built in the medieval times. we'regonna catch a bus tour after this. tomorrow will be our last day in the city.... we're going to be using our eurail passes to go to nice tomorrow.

ok let's talk about the poo story... you didn't think i'd just brush by that little bit of information did you? haha ok so we were walking around the arc de triomf south through the parc de la ciutadella and by the zoo... this lady tapps us on the shoulder and tells us "dirty" and were like huh? and then i see the back of apryl's shirt and pants... there is this brown liquid poo dripping off of her.. ahhhhh so i try to clean it off and apryl is bent over laughing her head off cuz i have it on my back too and don't even know it! i think some monkey with a diarria problem pooed on us as we walked under a tree... apryl thinks it's some kinda bird that did it... well anyways... we got pooed on in barcelona! hahaha

charlene

catalunya is this central plazza in barcelona. les ramblas is just one of the streets that end in this circle

arc de triomf... if this doesn't scream i'm in spain and i'm loving it..i dunno what will

we went to the beach... look how great this sand is... i'm so relaxed

this is the very spot we discovered we had been pooed on!

this is our awesome room on les ramblas! we really lucked out... there is so much character in a building like this!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

in europe safely

london at night

tower of london

london bridge is NOT falling down

hi everyone!

just wanted to write you a quick up date on apryl and my travels in europe thus far. we landed in gatwick... a rural area just south of london. the flight was good we had pasta for the onflight meal. we caught a coach bus to victoria station in london... where we spoke with a hostel booking agent who arranged our hostel. it's on 71 vincent st... called the wellington... it looks like hogwarths in harry potter... accross from the place is this great big playing field... i'd like to imagine that's where the quidish matches are played! haha

we are walking distance from the Thames, Big Ben, The London Eye, County Hall, Parlimentry buildings, Westminister Abby, Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly Circus... how do i know? cuz that's where we walked to yesterday! we saw a lot! we had my birthday dinner in chinatown.

big ben is really bigger than you think

eye of london... we're next

the eye of london... the neighbouring pod people

look at this view from the london eye

little people below

piccadilly circus

It was a scorcher of a day yesterday! we were sooo surprised at how hot and sunny it was... like toronto during the heat wave! today (sept 1) is much better. it's a little cloudier, windier and cooler. we've checked out of the hostel already and plan on taking the tube to liverpool street station and hope that they have lockers there to leave the majority of our bags as we explore that area of london for the day. we'll be catching a flight to barcelona tonight at around 4am (check in, 6am take off)... weeee!

so let me just say.... the british men are cute! well you've got such a range the ones in suits and briefcases walking around the parlimentry buildings are cute.. and then the ones around the touristy spots are cute tooo... hard to tell if they are british until they start speaking haha. we were walking around the london eye... there is this building called the county hall and inside is a saatchi gallery... they have these guys trying to draw people into the gallery to see the exhibit of paintings... so as we were walking by one of them says to apryl "it's your birthday today!" and apryl replies "no it's not but it's her birthday" pointing to me! so we start laughing and talking. His name is chris and his friend's name is birch... they were art students.. anyways... chris tells us a cute joke and this is what i'm gonna leave this email with...

"what did the shy pebble say?"

"i wish i was a little bolder"