too much cheese
so yeah my mom bought this block of marble cheese when she came down town last weekend and i've been eating it all week. i love cheese but i'm somewhat lactose intolerant... essentially, feel gassy, burpy, farty and bloated. i just burped... it was little, you probably couldn't hear it. hahaha :O) anywhoo that's basicly how i've been feeling all week... no complaints, i like cheese.i'm writing this blog right now cuz i have a paper due tomorrow and kinda have writers block. i always have writers block when it comes to school papers... why can't i just write what i think... like free associate... that's so much easier! hahaha maybe i can't write this paper because i can't think about it right now... i can't focus on it cuz i'm so distracted by the Internet and thoughts of the guys in my life... or the guys not in my life that i wish could be more a part of my life.
my ex and i didn't hang on on the weekend. he did call though to explain why he didn't show up to hang out... he forgot that his friend was having a going away party so he went to that... totally understand able. i think i'd be feeling far more conflicted if we did hang out cuz well... we still love eachother. i'm reminded of a john mayer lyric right now...
~All you need is love is a lie cause~
~We had love but we still said goodbye~
~Now we're tired, battered fighters~
so maybe he did a good thing not seeing me on the weekend... time will tell. i told my ottawa boy about my ex and he reacted just as my dream man would... he wasn't jealous at all! i love that about him! i was talking about this exact situation with my friend jenny a month ago when none of this was happening. i was telling her that i'd want a guy that is comfortable enough with himself and trusts me enough to not be jealous about my friendship with my ex. if i say that we are friends and the new man knows me well enough to know that i'm super loyal like a puppy, he should be cool with me seeing my ex... just as i would trust him to see his ex. i mean... i wouldn't want my boyfriend to dictate who i could or couldn't spend my time with. my friend gave me this look as if i was insane to think that this guy existed... well he does and ottawa boy is one of them!


2 Comments:
hey cuz, which john mayer song is that?
anyway... haha i'm the polar opposite of this ottawa guy you speak of. no way on earth would i let any girl of mine meet her ex, unless it's definitely over and done with! most guys are like me i think. now i don't mean to be a wet blanket and all, but sometimes guys just pretend not to be jealous when they're still in courtship... pretty much cos we don't have a right to be jealous yet! when the relationship begins... aha...
that is split screen sadness by john mayer off of his heavier things album
here are the full lyrics:
www.john-mayer-lyrics.com/
And I don't know where you went when you left me but
Says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
One hand on the trigger of a telephone
Wondering when the call comes
Where you say it's alright
You got your heart right
Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on the porch 'til you come back home
Oh, right
I can't find a flight
We share the sadness
Split screen sadness
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
ALl you need is love is a lie cause
We had love but we still said goodbye
Now we're tired, battered fighters
And it stings when it's nobody's fault
Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name
It's only the air you took and the breath you left
Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on the porch 'til you come back home
Oh, right
I can't find a flight
So I'll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right
We share the sadness
Split screen sadness
I called
Because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don't hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day
Don't let me get away
Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be
There's no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
Split screen sadness
We share the sadness
he's so poetic! love him!
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